First full day at home was a success. It’s amazing how a “full 3 hours” of sleep in your own bed can make you feel completely refreshed.
Got in bed last night around 3am. I fell asleep about an hour after Brook. As I lay there praying endless thanks and hoping that it wouldn’t all just disappear as a dream normally does, my brain decided I needed to sleep; last glance was 4:30am. Woke up 3 hours later and to my amazement he was still here. It wasn’t just a dream. Oh my God, this isn’t a dream, how cool!
His awesome mommy had already gotten up at 5am to try and feed him, then again at 6am and fed / changed / laid him back down. (My first missed diaper change btw). An hour later we have him bundled into his car seat and out the door to the pediatrician. He’s perfectly healthy. Weight-loss has only been 5% (10-12% is cause for concern, he’s good!) and now that he is nursing milk, he should begin to gain weight. The day was spent in an endless 2-3 hour rotation of work, in between his schedule of Eat. Poop. Sleep. Repeat. So easy. Such a great little baby. A friend brought us a delicious custom-made dinner (minding all of Brook’s allergies) and it was enough for lunch or dinner tomorrow. Thank you Angie!! Then Carlos and Elizabeth stopped over. Amid the calls / texts / messages we headed into the night routine…… should be much of the same as the day I hope.
Ya know they say that the day your child is born, you won’t be able to imagine another day without them. It’s not just a cliche’. The nerves haven’t gone away by any means, still terrified of making mistakes or not being able to recognize if something is wrong….but that just means I won’t be lazy at thinking everything is alright all the time.
There’s a song I used to listen to call “It feels like home” by Chantal Kreviazuk… the chorus ends with the line:
It feels like home to me
Feels like I’m all the way back where I belong
Feels like I’m all the way back where I belong
It’s so fitting. I’ve been through so much leading up to these moments and waking up to him still being here feels like I’m exactly where I belong and am meant to be.
